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2010 March 24 - 26

Created by Angela 14 years ago
Dear Mum The last few days of been the hardest of our lives but we managed to get through them because of the love and support from our family, your friends and ours. the support that we have had has been absolutely amazing. We have been cocooned in the love of everyone around us. The last 2 weeks have been so busy, now that we are back home real life will return. We all have to think about going back to work. I had planned to have a quiet day at home today but I found that I couldnt relax because every time I sat down I kept getting the urge to call you. We would always chat every few days so now my mind keeps reminding me that I havent spoken to you so its time to ring you, then I suddenly feel shocked again when I realise that your not there. Everytime the phone rings, for that one split second, I think, ''that will be Mum'' How long will it take to stop feeling like this? I want it to stop but I am afraid for it to stop because I dont know what will come next. Your funeral was beautiful but sad, so sad. You had so many flowers, im so glad about that it was really important to me that if you were watching that you would be able to see how much you are loved and what you mean to us all. Before we left your house for the last time, I went into every room and just spent a few minutes remembering a time that I spent in there with you, remembering how much we laughed together over silly things. I remembered the night that we spent painting canvases, picking out the colours to include on it to match you decor at the time, we stayed up most of the night, me painting and you keeping me supplied with endless cups of coffee. The memories in the kitchen are many, you making cheese and onion pie and all of us eating it in there, you making my coffee and toast in the morning to eat on the way to work because you know thats what Pieman does for me every morning when I am home. So many memories Mum and I will cherish them all. As we were leaving I whispered to you to come with me, to not stay there any more but to come home with me. Do you know what? From the moment I got in the car, I felt you with me and I felt you with me all last night. For the first time in more that 2 weeks, I felt at peace, even happy to know that you are with me and that you will never be alone again. Stay with me Mutty, please let me feel you around me. Angela xxxx