Hey Mum Where have you been? I went to see someone yesterday in the hope that she would be able to connect me to you. She didnt even mention that I hae suffered any kind of loss never mind this most devastating traumatic loss, I was so gutted, I really thought that I would be able to talk to you and be able to hear that you really are ok and that your with us still. Please Mum, Please find a way, we will keep looking for someone who will be able to help us. I think about you all the time, when I wake up, when im going to sleep. Im really trying to get on with things but its really hard when I have this over whelming feeling of disbelief all the time. You cant be gone, it cant be real. I saw Dawn yesterday and we were talking about you and she actually said the words, 'when Mum died'. Its like she is talking about someone else. All my sisters have said that they have dreamed about you, but I havent and I dont really feel you around me. Where are you Mum, are you resting as people keep telling me? Is it really just a matter of time and us being patient? I need you Mutty, where are you? Please come back its too hard without you? I love you so much, I need to come and see you, I have to go to Leeds next week, I dont know how im going to get through it not being able to come and see you and make you laugh any more. Please come back Love you Angela xxx